From Zero to Hero

I have not made this statement in a while, so perhaps some of you still don't know this about me.

I am a Gamer. I enjoy games. I like playing them, watching them, creating them, analyzing them. In fact, with me it goes even further in that I see Life as a game. I interact with the world as if it was constructed with a set of rules and certain Victory Conditions. So, this post will make quite a bit of sense to me. I am hoping it will make some sense to you as well.

There is a theory in games, economics, and life in general called "Zero-sum". This is basically the idea that in any system (be it national resources, a marriage relationship, or a sports competition) for every winner there must be a loser. If I drill for the oil then you cannot drill for it. If we go where I wanted to go on vacation then we cannot also go where you wanted to go (assuming it was a different place). If I have the ball then you cannot also have the ball.

We see this at work economically in many cases where people begin to feel like resources are limited. Oil is a great example currently because people are under this weird assumption that we are about to "run out" of it. So, they operate as if any time someone else gets more then they must be getting less. The possibility of everyone having enough just does not exist in their minds... thus crazy price swings occur and people may even be driven to violence to protect their piece of the pie.

In fact, a pie is a great example of a Zero-sum system. The Law of the Pie (my own phrase, feel free to take it) is that if I get a bigger piece then there is less left for you. We cannot both eat 75% of the pie.*

I am one of those strange people that could sit here an enjoy a discussion on Zero-sum and its affects on economies** and gaming systems, but it recently gained a new application in my life. I realized that I often see people treat Love and Respect as Zero-sum systems. Here is how it works:

1) My best friend just met someone and clicked with them. I hear about this "new" person all the time now, and I begin to feel like I am losing part of my friendship as this new person takes their own piece.

2) A co-worker just had a great success at the office and gained respect from the bosses. I feel as though my own stock went down because there is just not enough respect to go around.

3) I feel the need to be more appreciated, and to accomplish that I need to show just how unworthy the people around me are. That way people will appreciate me more.

4) A new church moved into my part of town. I hope they don't grow too big or they will start to impact our growth. What if they "take my members!"?

I am pretty sure every parent has worried about this at least once when they went from One child to Two. Even if it was for a moment, the thought of, "Will I love this child as much as I love my first?" goes through their mind. Hopefully they soon learn that love is not a Zero-sum system. There is no limit to how much love we can have, how much we can give, how much there can BE in the world. The same goes for respect, honor, appreciation, and any number of things that we so often guard jealously. If we are going to love like God loves, then we must move out of the Zero-sum mindset and understand that just because someone else is moving up it does not mean I am moving down. We can all move up together.

* Ok, perhaps I was the only one who spent some time wondering just how it would look if we DID both manage to eat 75% of the pie. Obviously some regurgitation would be involved... and can you still call it "pie" after that has happened?

** A quick pet peeve of mine. People often talk about how blessed we are in America, which is true. They then mention how tough the rest of the world has it, which is also true. Then they generally go on this rant about how we need to have less so that the rest of the world can have more, which just does not make sense to me. I suppose I don't see the world as operating in a Zero-sum, at least not yet. Instead of us going down so that they can go up, why can't we all just go up together?