Sincere

Call it lack of sleep, lack of focus, perhaps lack of perspective. For whatever reason I have had a "lack" this last week. I have had some good times in God's Word, some decent conversations with people about a whole slew of topics. I probably have 5 Blog Titles sitting on one of my little white pads (I love those things!). But, every time I sit down to write I find myself writing words that I believe, but I don't feel.

I began wondering if it was just better to wait to write until I could really feel the things that I was saying were true. That was silly of me, because I have taught numerous times that Action precedes Emotion. Truth is not truth because of my feelings. My sincerity does not make something true, and my wavering does not make it false. The only thing at stake is my security and perhaps my comfort. [Quick note, I am listening to Tenth Avenue North's album while writing this... good stuff.]

So, I am trying to step back, make some space, and find my bearings. God speaks every day, and He does not work hard to hide His words. During times like this where life takes a strange turn (lots of unexpected bills all hitting at once, sick kids, weird sleep patterns, etc.) I often have to work a little harder, or more truly stop trying to work so hard in some cases, to just listen.

That is me today. Trying to listen to the voice that speaks to me about things beyond today's to-do list and tonight's crying kid and yesterdays broken water pump. I don't feel very excited about that voice, and thankfully my feelings are not all that important when it comes to what is true and good in my life. Perhaps I can be sincere by doing what I know to be true even if I don't feel like it at the time. Maybe that is even a deeper form of sincerity than merely doing what is right when I also feel like doing what is right.