My heart will be deeply saddened if nobody gets the movie reference here. For any lurkers who have always wanted to comment but have yet to try... here is your chance. Guess the movie reference in your comment!
I am a big believer in Accountability. I will never be my best unless others hold me to a certain set of expectations and actively check my progress towards goals. As a leader in a church I often have discussions with people about accountability to the teachings of God's Word and the goals that He has set for our life. I want to think that I can be a person who can give practical, spiritual, and relational support to others as they work out their salvation. But, I sometimes wonder where my "line" is; that place that I won't allow people to cross because it is just a little too close.
Some people put that line on finances. They will share their struggle with daily time with God, maybe with prayer, even with some anger or bitterness they are dealing with. They seem to be stressed... maybe having unusual fights at home. But, you ask them about their debt and the way it is affecting many of those other issues and you can almost physically see them close up.
I have seen the same thing happen with parenting. It is amazing to me just how protective we are not of our kids but of the way we are perceived as parents. Offering unsolicited parenting advice is a quick way to see just how close someone is willing to let you get.
On these issues, and many others, my line is a good distance away. I don't mind talking about marriage, parenting, finances, or many other things. I think part of that is because over the last 10+ years God has been digging into all of those areas of my life and He has already revealed some of the darker places I tried to keep hidden in my heart. I am not ashamed anymore because I know that He still loves me, and even more then that it is His love that caused him to bring my dark places into the light.
But, I know that there are areas in my heart that I still struggle with sharing... places I don't want other people to see. And, there are things in other people's heart that I just don't want to hear. For example, I don't mind talking to one of the guys in my group about a struggle with lust... we have all been there and I can pray with you and offer some practical advice. But, what if they share that they are lusting after my wife? I have to say that the same feelings of understanding and support are quickly overshadowed. Just minutes before I could have been nodding my head in agreement with the struggle that we all face. But, when it comes closer to home I would rather just think of you as a pervert who needs to stop looking at or thinking about my wife!
Now, to be honest, I am not sure that I would be the best person to counsel a guy who was having trouble lusting after my wife. But, would that revelation be enough to break a long-term friendship? Would all of the "closeness" we had built over the years be torn down if we crossed a line and became "too close"? When I see who they really are am I still able to love and accept them? Would they do the same for me? Should they?
3 comments:
Aladdin says that right after he asks that guy to come over closer to him, but instead of the guy coming closer, the camera comes right into his face for a close up. What a great movie. Best Disney movie by far in my opinion. Not sure that's the movie you're talking about, but since you have kids I figured its a possibility.....
Close, it is actually the narrator... I also would have accepted the Genie or Robin Williams... since he did both voices :). That is exactly the scene I was thinking of though... Arabian Niiiiiiights like Arabian Daaaaaaays.
AH! I meant the Genie - not Aladdin. The movie is Aladdin, but not all the characters in the movie are named Aladdin. Apparently my brain has not quite grasped this concept. Amy thinks I might be having a stroke - we went to San Jose at lunch and I said that the cookie I just ate was burnt. Really the tortilla chip I just ate was burnt, but apparently in my mind cookie and chip are one in the same. Thanks for giving me credit though!
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